Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Self Improvement FAIL

I've been sticking to most of my personal, made up by me self-improvement plan 13 Steps to a Better Me to overcome the last bit of sadness after Blitzkrieg's passing so I can be a more consistent and confident leader for Lacey while we work on her behavioral issues.



My highly energetic, needs exercise to burn off her nervous energy walking buddy, Lacey, encourages me to get off the sofa and walk her on a nearby bike trail in addition to our one mile neighborhood walks. Between the walks with my fluffy trainer and the dog appropriate summer adventures we had with Lacey, I finally met my weight loss goal!



I celebrated meeting my goal with a new dress.
I've been working on craft and DIY projects, including designing and decorating my guest room/craft room. The room is still a work in progress but I got the largest project done - building storage for and organizing my craft supplies.



I sounds crazy, but sometimes just walking into this room and looking the clean and organized shelves (after a week of sorting and organizing) calms me down when I'm having a stress moment. I like to think of it as a metaphor. Claiming my outside surroundings calms the frenzy I'm feeling inside.

Or it might mean I'm not philosophical but completely insane. Anyway it works for me.

Husband and I are having more date nights and spending time with friends. I'm trying to be more involved in the activities I liked to do.

That part of Project Me that just backfired. I won't be doing anything for awhile.


Do you like my newest footwear? It looks like I stole Iron Man’s shoe.

So what’s the deal? You, me, and everyone in the universe is asking. What did you do to yourself Lisa?!

Let’s get in Mr. Peabody’s Wayback Machine and travel to last summer,  June 2013.

I wasn't a sporty kid.. There were only two things I did well: color guard and dance. I joined an adult marching band to get out, meet new people, and satisfy my love of performing. The band marches in two parades each summer. After the parade, the band has a small concert performance and the flag corps performs with them. It's fun.

I met a bunch of new friends, marched a parade for one million people, and performed my little heart out. It felt good.

One of our concert numbers was The Time Warp from The Rocky Horror Picture Show, one of my favorite movies.  As soon as I found out, I immediately offered to do Columbia’s tap dance during the percussion feature. There was talk of the percussion and flags doing something during the song everyone was jazzed to play.

Our Band Director who is also the head of the band’s Artistic Committee blew the flag corps off every time we asked him, you know, if the plan included the flags performing during this song. Eventually we stopped asking. Surely he has something planned.

Nope.

THREE DAYS before our first parade I find out I’m dancing as a Hail Mary because the Director didn't have a plan. It has been a few years since I really danced and didn't have the leg muscles I could have rebuilt if they asked me when rehearsals began.

New tap shoes!


Sleep became optional as I bought and break in tap shoes, built a costume, choreographed something I could remember, and pounding the snot out of my feet, legs, and knees rehearsing and performing on concrete. Somehow, I pulled it off.

The crowd and band members (who had no idea of the drama) loved it. My blisters, scrapes, and bruises were merit badges of the Show Must Go On.



Tip: Don't try to break in tap shoes overnight. Pratfalls on concrete aren't a good idea either.

The soreness eventually faded like my bruises until a month later. I spent an evening chilling out with friends around their fire pit. Suddenly it felt like there was a rock in my calf and the muscles from my foot to my knee seized up. I couldn't put my left foot flat on the ground. Eventually I limped to the car on my tip toe. Who knew that  sitting in Adirondack chairs and talking IT (we're geeks) could be hazardous to your health?

Fortunately, the rock feeling is not a blood clot. An ultrasound found a Baker’s Cyst behind my knee. I had to take it easy while everything calmed down.

Follow me on Instagram to see more photos of Lacey providing excellent nursing care. 

Eventually I could walk without limping. I still feels like I have a rock in my left calf, it is a different size and shape from my right, and hurts after standing or walking around. The frequent muscle cramps make me scream in pain and freaks out my fluffy nurse. I don't have time for this. I have a big, big, big performance in August!

My orthopedist says the Baker's cyst is gone. The rock feeling in my calf is periostitis. I strained my leg and knee muscles. Thankfully there isn't a mass. A mass could have been any number of very, very bad things.

Best of all, I don't need surgery. Physical therapy and sports massage should do it. They gave me the boot for pain management. It is working. It is also a workout trying to walk with an anchor strapped to my leg!

I wrestled with the decision all year and got depressed every time I thought about it. As much as it hurts my heart, if I stay in band, I'm letting the Powers That Be think it is OK to treat their volunteers poorly. There have been other situations, but mine shows that due to their negligence, I got injured and am still dealing with it 10 months later.

I was so sad the day I turned in my equipment and said goodbye to the flag corps. It felt like breaking up with a boyfriend you like but you know he is not good for you. I am going to miss my new friends and performing with such a talented group. Apparently, I am a parade junkie. When I'm on the sides watching parades I want to be in them. When I march in parades, I want to be on the sides watching them.

I can't march, do the charity walks we do as a family with Lacey, or enjoy most of our summer activities because of my injury. My desire to heal my broken spirit backfired. I ended up breaking my body in a somewhat abusive relationship (there is more drama I've experienced over the years with the band that I am not going to mention here.) Big self improvement FAIL.

Last summer, we walked the course for Lacey's first Pet Promise Rescue Run. We do what we can, when we can to support animal rescue and rehabilitating dogs with behavioral issues like Lacey.

The new challenge is to deal with this self improvement left turn at Albuquerque.


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